I have been in a dark place these last few days. My little niece who was diagnosed with Leukemia this year, took a bit of a rough turn and ended up on life support a few days ago. They tell us it’s precautionary due to infections in her lungs. This is not uncommon as far as I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier. She is in her last rounds of chemo which are the most evasive.
After seeing her earlier in the week I fell into a bit of a hole, she didn’t recognize me because she was so doped up on pain relief. All I could do was sit by her side and watch her doze in and out of consciousness. She was battling pneumonia, so her tummy was swollen with air from the device helping her breathe.
She had her coloring pencils and a book, which even when nodding off, if you tried to take it away she would simply stare at you with dagger eyes that made you think twice . I have to smile at this thought, because even though she is completely exhausted and doped up, she still has her attitude underneath it all. That’s my girl.
Today was just a day where my worry got the best of me, so I decided to take a mental day off work and attempt to process things.
To my surprise, Alexainie had tagged me in a beautiful piece called “ The Change — One Love WorldWide “ about some amazing work her niece is doing in Africa. The project is a non for profit called “One Love Worldwide “ — providing education and assistance with water supplies, hygiene and agriculture to communities in Africa who need them. I cannot tell you how much this made me smile today. If you’re struggling, I recommend you read. This cheered me up.
I have to say we are blessed here in Australia, Izabella (my niece) has been provided the best possible care for her treatment and it comes with no cost to her family . Watching her suffering has been the most eye opening thing in my life to date. Having the financial stress on top of that like I know many others have and do face is unimaginable.
The fact remains, this is not the case word wide. In fact, children with disabilities or illness are often left with no options. Water, our most basic need, is not provided in a lot of other places around the world.
I want to leave you with something I had written via Facebook, which coincidentally was a memory reminder thingy that popped up today. ( I literally copy and pasted this).
Untitled FB Status : August 25th 2016
I have this burning desire inside me to explore the world. Sometimes it burns so deep that it seems like the life I’m living is a memory on pause and repeat.
It bothers me that we are living in a place that promotes freedom, yet cages us up like animals in the zoo, yes that also bothers me too.
That those words are imprinted in me, as if that very phrase was even okay!?
I want to save the world, but even if I stretched my compassion across the globe, I realize you can’t save the world from itself.
So, is my desire to explore another form of escapism? Or do I intuitively know that this is all part of my self discovery?
Either way, the world is a curious place especially if you feel somewhat displaced.
Yes, those of you who read this and know the words too well, also know that our type of soul is one who questions it all, loves fiercely and fights for our rights as one.
We get up from our fall as if we have been reborn again.
But we need not fear, for as long as we live in this life we will always prevail, without us, who would lift the broken ones if not the most broken of them all?
Polarity — the most intriguing part of the story is that the darkness is needed to see just how beautiful the light can be.
I am extremely proud to be part of this community who lifts me up when needed. Wakes me up when I am lost in myself.
There is a lot of awful things happening today, make no mistake, I understand that. But, the good in this world reminds me that we can change things, we just have to work together.
Thanks Alexainie for that reminder — I needed that today x.